Tag: satire

SATIRE: Marco Rubio loses debate to a robot

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is a satirical blog post that does not describe a real-life event. For all future blog posts, satirical blog posts will be marked with (SATIRE:) before the blog post title, and non-satirical blog posts will contain no such marking.


Earlier today, U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL), a candidate for the Republican presidential nomination, delivered an absolutely awful debate performance…against a robot created as part of a joint project between students and professors of the University of Wisconsin-Madison (UW-Madison) and the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign (UIUC). The debate was held inside of a greenhouse on the UW-Madison campus, with no spectators admitted to the debate site, although video of the debate was recorded and streamed online.

While the robot, named “Samantha”, responded to debate moderator Mike Gousha’s questions truthfully and honestly (Samantha’s political ideology is similar to that of Democratic elected officials in the Madison, Wisconsin area) and didn’t give any repetitive responses, Rubio mostly stuck to a canned line claiming that “President Obama knows what he’s doing, and he wants to radically change America”. At one point in the debate, Samantha chided Rubio for being “robotic” with his responses, prompting members of a focus group watching the internet livestream of the debate to burst out in laughter.

Samantha also commanded a deep knowledge of Rubio’s political track record, bringing up, among other things, Rubio rarely showing up to vote in the U.S. Senate, his use of a Florida Republican Party credit card for personal expenses, and his opposition to LGBT rights. This put Rubio on the defensive throughout the debate; in fact, towards the end of the debate, Rubio was barely able to give audible responses to debate questions.

Samantha’s closing statement (per debate rules, Rubio and Samantha were limited to one-sentence closing statements) was absolutely legendary:

If, after watching the debate, you think that Senator Rubio is more robotic than an actual robot, you’re not alone.

Sara Goldrick-Rab, a UW-Madison professor who led the effort to build Samantha, was absolutely delighted after seeing a video of the debate, saying that her team had built “an absolutely awesome robot” that “delivered a memorable debate performance”.

My April Fools blog post has received over 4,000 views, over 1,000 Facebook shares, and international attention

Early this morning, I published a satirical April Fools blog post about Republicans in the Wisconsin State Legislature wanting to legally ban curling in Wisconsin. In reality, Wisconsin Republicans currently have no intention of banning curling in the Badger State, so curling is safe in Wisconsin, at least for now.

However, my April Fools blog post has received an unusually large amount of attention for a small-time blog like The Progressive Midwesterner. In fact, my April Fools post has received, by far, the most attention of any blog post I’ve written in this blog’s history. My April Fools post has received¬†over 4,000 page views, has been shared over 1,000 times on Facebook, and has even received international attention via a favorable review of my post in an online article by Yahoo! Sports Canada. Don Landry, the author of the Yahoo! Sports Canada piece on curling-related April Fools jokes, wrote that I did a “nice job” with my April Fools post, and he also praised me for “densifying it with the kind of paragraph you’d expect to see in a typical legislative story and the interest groups involved in its debate”.

The Progressive Midwesterner will resume its normal operation of providing commentary on actual political and non-political happenings in Illinois, Wisconsin, and elsewhere tomorrow.

Charlie Hebdo shooting in France gets more American media attention than Colorado Springs NAACP bombing here in America

The corporate media has turned a blind eye to domestic terrorism here in the United States.

Yesterday, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) office in Colorado Springs, Colorado was firebombed by a person described as a white male who is believed to be approximately 40 years of age and is believed to be balding. While the motive behind the terrorist attack is unknown, it is apparent, but not confirmed, that the attack was motivated by white hatred towards black people.

Earlier today, a mass shooting took place at the headquarters of the Paris, France-based satire newspaper Charlie Hebdo in which 12 people were killed, and, as of this update, two of the attackers are still at large. One of the attackers reportedly bragged that he was part of and/or trained by the Islamic fundamentalist terror group al-Qaeda in Yemen.

Both of these are senseless terrorist attacks that are either apparently or confirmed to have been motivated by hatred by one group of people towards another group of people, yet the terrorist attack that took place in France got far more media attention than the terrorist attack that took place right here in America. The NAACP bombing has received very little coverage by the national news media here in the United States (in fact, I’ve yet to see a single mention of the NAACP bombing on CNN, and the only mention of the NAACP bombing by the media that I know of has been by left-leaning or left-wing internet websites and the traditional local news media in Colorado), yet CNN and other traditional news outlets here in the U.S. have provided extensive coverage of the Charlie Hebdo shooting. I firmly believe that this is because of systematic media bias in the corporate media in this country, specifically, the corporate media in this country is trying to cover-up instances of terrorism perpetrated by white people with far-right political views.